What is polygamy – This is a practice or custom of marrying more
than one wife at the same time. The man
who practices polygamy is a polygamist.
Many men go into polygamy either as a result of their religious belief,
custom, by mistake or to show off their wealth.
Most European Countries forbid polygamy and offenders are
charged with bigamy, while the practice is still acceptable in Africa and some
Asian Countries. In this case, the
question in everyone’s mind will be, is the practice of polygamy right or
wrong, is it legal or illegal?
My answer will be straight forward. No one can authoritatively say if it is good
or bad, legal or illegal because its practice has been discovered to be based
either on religion, custom or a way of life and it will not be wise to condemn
someone’s religion, custom or way of way.
While the modern Christians see it as a taboo, Islam permits it with a
specific number of wives one can marry at a time.
In Africa before the colonial rule, some societies view having
many children as wealth and consequently marry so many wives as they believe
that the more children you have, the more powerful you become.
Nevertheless, while it is true that there are a good number of
polygamists who control their families and some level of peace is maintained, experience
has shown that there are more disadvantages than advantages in practicing
polygamy and this is the main focus of this article.
The Bible even says that ‘you cannot serve two masters at the
same time; you will either love one or hate the other’. Intimate love is characterized with jealousy and
self-interest and there is no level of pretense that can expunge that. It should only be shared between two persons
(a man and a woman). It beats my
imagination how some women cope with seeing their husband kissing and caressing
another woman in their presence. You
need to experience the kind of trauma these women go through.
Polygamy has dealt a devastating blow to so many families making
members of the same household who ought to love each other become enemies. Some family compounds have turned into battle
grounds where different children and their different mothers display their superiority. In some other cases, the
fathers die as a result of these unbearable situations.
Investigations have shown that 80% of men who end up marrying
more than one wife do not do it intentionally.
There have been some circumstances that led to such decisions. Some of these situations could have been avoidable
if well informed.
These are some of the ways men can avoid marrying multiple
wives.
Be Faithful to Your Wife: Infidelity is the root
of all polygamy. As long as you engage
yourself in extra marital affairs, one day you will definitely be ensnared to
the extent that you will not have any other option than to marry a second
wife. Learn to love your wife enough so
that you will not have any cause to look outside your home.
Avoid Getting Too Close to Other Women: You may ask ‘how about
those who you work with. You will have
good working relationship with them without doubt. Apart from that taking it intimately for
example, having launch or dinner together, going to ceremonies etc will
absolutely lead to another thing. If
there is any woman you should have any intimacy with, that woman should be your
wife if you are really sincere about not having multiple wives. Being so close with someone especially the
opposite sex will certainly develop the love between you and that person and no
matter how strong you may think you are, a day will come when you will fall in
love with that person and consequently end up marrying her.
Avoid Receiving Gifts From Women: Women, especially those
whose ages are no more on their sides dangle gifts, money in particular in the
faces of gullible men, married or unmarried so as to get them to their side and
possibly marry them. Many men have been
cowed into second marriages because of gifts or financial help they have
received from women. If you are not
interested in any intimate relationship with a woman, do not take her money or
expensive gifts because that may be the way she wants to get at you and you
will not be smart enough to get away with it.
Wao, I hope you enjoyed this piece. Continue to be good to your wife!