People give many reasons for getting married. Most times, people feel the only good reason to get married is because of love. Yes, love is essential but then, there is a great difference between likeness and love. There are many instances when we like someone very much and mistake that for love. This is a very common situation among women, and once they are married, they find out that they are no longer compatible with their partners, because they married for the wrong reasons in the first place.
In some instances, it is believed that no one is really in love at the time of marriage, as it is believed that the real love starts after the marriage has taken place. Many relationship experts believe that love only happens when both parties have had sufficient length of time to know each other and share different experiences together. They say all you can only be in love with is the result of your imagination of what you want the person to be, which could be devastating and a rude shock when you find out that you got married to the wrong person and for the wrong reason(s).
Many couples fall into the trap of disappointed expectations, because they had imagined that all would turn out well despite the hurdles they must have overcome in getting married in the first place, without knowing the other person very well.
The worst of all are those who marry to get away from unpleasant situations; for security reasons or for money. These kinds are very much affected later in the marriage, because even with all what they anticipated, they still seek the comfort of real love in the marriage.
Some women get married for the most horrible of reasons such as:
· All your friends are getting married: As most women approach the ages of 25 – 30, they feel time is fast running out on them, that everyone in their age group is married. Attending every other person’s wedding reception cannot only be frustrating, but could also make them look left out. But then, this is not enough reason to just go ahead and marry any man that comes your way so that you can also be called Mrs.
· You want someone to support you. This could be because you are unemployed or poorly paid. There are low-income jobs or family financial problems and many reasons like cash flow problems these days. However, rushing into marriage for financial reasons is never a good idea. Just because he’s Mr. Moneybag doesn’t mean he is going to make the perfect husband. I know of a couple who married for this wrong reason. The lady was in a financial fix and the man came into her life at that time. Now she can hardly stand him and being married to him is worse than hell as she is just living a life of a shadow of herself. She regrets the marriage, as she says to anyone willing to listen that there’s no compromise to real love in a marriage as she did.
There would be more successful marriages if people could take the time to know each other first before they seek to explore the mind of someone else. It is very easy to mistake physical passion or romantic infatuation for genuine long-lasting love.
One of the ways to prevent getting married for the wrong reason is not to date until you are ready for a romantic relationship that may lead to marriage. Why get seriously “in love” with someone when you have no intention of getting married to that person? If the relationship drags on for too long, there is the risk of it getting stale and the couple spending a lot of time patching up bad feelings. When the time comes for marriage, they are more in love with love itself than with each other.
A common mistake made by most young people is that they never allow themselves to experience a significant period of their youth unattached. From the time they understand the meaning of the word love, they have serious relationships, which often cause them to expend their energy in extremely long telephone calls, sleepless nights and failing grades, loss of appetite, etc. Thus, they miss the joy of developing genuine friendships that do not lead to romance. That is, they are locked off from establishing other relationships. When you start “going out of circulation” too early in life, you will end up in a marriage that will lock you away from a world of happiness, freedom and growth. This is one reason why pre-marriage counseling for all couples is vital.
So, how many marriages turn out right? Well, the odds are bad because the increased rate of divorce in our society is an indication that most people get married for the wrong reasons. My dear friends work hard to avoid getting married for the wrong reasons; it’s not worth the eventual disappointment and disheartening pain in the end.
In some instances, it is believed that no one is really in love at the time of marriage, as it is believed that the real love starts after the marriage has taken place. Many relationship experts believe that love only happens when both parties have had sufficient length of time to know each other and share different experiences together. They say all you can only be in love with is the result of your imagination of what you want the person to be, which could be devastating and a rude shock when you find out that you got married to the wrong person and for the wrong reason(s).
Many couples fall into the trap of disappointed expectations, because they had imagined that all would turn out well despite the hurdles they must have overcome in getting married in the first place, without knowing the other person very well.
The worst of all are those who marry to get away from unpleasant situations; for security reasons or for money. These kinds are very much affected later in the marriage, because even with all what they anticipated, they still seek the comfort of real love in the marriage.
Some women get married for the most horrible of reasons such as:
· All your friends are getting married: As most women approach the ages of 25 – 30, they feel time is fast running out on them, that everyone in their age group is married. Attending every other person’s wedding reception cannot only be frustrating, but could also make them look left out. But then, this is not enough reason to just go ahead and marry any man that comes your way so that you can also be called Mrs.
· You want someone to support you. This could be because you are unemployed or poorly paid. There are low-income jobs or family financial problems and many reasons like cash flow problems these days. However, rushing into marriage for financial reasons is never a good idea. Just because he’s Mr. Moneybag doesn’t mean he is going to make the perfect husband. I know of a couple who married for this wrong reason. The lady was in a financial fix and the man came into her life at that time. Now she can hardly stand him and being married to him is worse than hell as she is just living a life of a shadow of herself. She regrets the marriage, as she says to anyone willing to listen that there’s no compromise to real love in a marriage as she did.
There would be more successful marriages if people could take the time to know each other first before they seek to explore the mind of someone else. It is very easy to mistake physical passion or romantic infatuation for genuine long-lasting love.
One of the ways to prevent getting married for the wrong reason is not to date until you are ready for a romantic relationship that may lead to marriage. Why get seriously “in love” with someone when you have no intention of getting married to that person? If the relationship drags on for too long, there is the risk of it getting stale and the couple spending a lot of time patching up bad feelings. When the time comes for marriage, they are more in love with love itself than with each other.
A common mistake made by most young people is that they never allow themselves to experience a significant period of their youth unattached. From the time they understand the meaning of the word love, they have serious relationships, which often cause them to expend their energy in extremely long telephone calls, sleepless nights and failing grades, loss of appetite, etc. Thus, they miss the joy of developing genuine friendships that do not lead to romance. That is, they are locked off from establishing other relationships. When you start “going out of circulation” too early in life, you will end up in a marriage that will lock you away from a world of happiness, freedom and growth. This is one reason why pre-marriage counseling for all couples is vital.
So, how many marriages turn out right? Well, the odds are bad because the increased rate of divorce in our society is an indication that most people get married for the wrong reasons. My dear friends work hard to avoid getting married for the wrong reasons; it’s not worth the eventual disappointment and disheartening pain in the end.