Childlessness describes the state
of an individual or a couple who does not have children. Childlessness can be either involuntary or
voluntary. Voluntary childlessness is also described as childfree
(the couple are medically fit, financially okay but decides not to have
children) and it is practiced by only few couples. The causes of
childlessness are many and it has great personal, social and political
connotations.
For most of history, childlessness has been
regarded as a great personal tragedy, involving much emotional pain and grief,
especially when it resulted from a failure to conceive or from the death of a
child particularly when the couples are well advanced in age.
Before people began to understand the process
of conception, childlessness was usually blamed on the woman and this in itself
added to the high level of negative, emotional and social effects of
childlessness on the woman.
Childlessness is one of the major challenges of marriage. In the bid to curtail this challenge, medical
practitioners have come out with so many suggestions on the causes of
childlessness like infertility both in the male or female; they have also tried
to solve these problems with the latest scientific discoveries in medicines and
drugs. However, almost all these solutions have been nearly messed-up by
nature. The reason for this is that, many women whom the doctors have declared
childless have given birth in the later days and many women whom the doctors
said have no problems are yet to give birth.
What then can we say is the cause of childlessness? Is it sin? I
have seen so many men and women who have been committing sin since they were born
giving birth; I have seen armed robbers, prostitutes, even witches having
children.
Some people have also attributed childlessness to pregnancy
abortions committed while at a younger age.
This is not always the truth because women with a history of multiple
abortions do have children. (I am not justifying abortion here because it is an abomination before
God; I am only using it to stress a point). For some others, they
say that family genetics and physical stature are responsible for barrenness. This is also not the truth because I have seen
women whom their mothers gave birth to so many children becoming childless and
I have also seen those that came from families that have the history of childlessness
giving birth to so many children. Some people have said that women with short statures finds it
difficult to give birth but this is also a bundle of lies for I have seen short
women even dwarfs giving birth to so many children.
What on earth is the cause of childlessness? Whatever the cause may be, the fact remains
that no one can authoritatively say the exact causes; so we are going to leave
that to God to answer because I do not know.
What I do know is that, childlessness does happen in marriages
causing serious marital problems in the family, in some cases, couples go their
separate ways or they are advised to test their capability outside the
matrimonial home and the resultant effect is best imagined. As a result of this, I try to proffer some
useful suggestions on how to handle the problem especially those that have
serious challenges from in-laws and relations.
First and foremost, I want to tell you this story. A pastor shared a personal experience of his
childlessness. As a man of God, it was like an abomination that he should seek for
the fruit of the womb. But because he
felt that his congregation will get discouraged by his childlessness, he
decided to have children by diabolical means secretly. He said his wife was once
made to eat something he was sure to be excreta by a ‘Prophet’ who they believe
will solve their problem. The prophet went
as far as telling the wife to come to his room naked in the night. It was at this period he realized he was a
man of God. He told us that after
begging God for forgiveness, he resolved to remain childless for the rest of
his life instead of offending his God.
Today, they have three boys.
· Some women are deceived by
people (including their own parents) to drink mixtures and concoctions and
other things that will add more problems to their health. Instead of getting yourself infected with
cancer, kidney problems and other terminal diseases, seek medical solution and
once you are declared fit medically, cling to God, Trust his word, be good to yourself
and others. Those who tread this path will always succeed, mark my words.
· If you have waited for so many
years, and you have the money, reach an agreement with your spouse and go for
adoption. A lot of couples, who adopted children,
ended up having more children. This is
real and it is the truth.
People who are in this situation should stand their ground, do
not give people room for bad suggestions.
Do not run from pillar to post looking for solution because there is no
solution there. Trust only in God
because he has the monopoly of solution to the problem of childlessness.
Best of luck because your ordeal is over!!