It has been a long time reaching you through this blog. Yes, I know you will wonder what has happened. There is nothing more than that I have been busy working on my Book Blog. Just take a look http://www.bookswithliana.com, I am now fully back and will continue to give you tips on raising good family units where responsible and future leaders will emerge.
Okay! Let’s face our
topic for today.
At a time, it happens that each time my three kids are together, the whole house will be on fire. There is always something to fight for and this gets me real upset.
The
oldest one bullies the younger ones and the younger ones seem not to know their
limits. The worst culprit is the
youngest of them all. He puts a
challenge to everything and then turns back to shout very loud and make
everywhere uncomfortable.
I
approached those whom I think should know better and they said when they grow
older, they will stop. While it is true
that maturity will play a positive role in their relationships, can I continue
to endure this heart rending squabbles till God knows when and watch them wreck
their relationship? No I need to find
ways of stopping these before it gets out of hands. So I started trying many ways to help myself
and the kinds out of this mess.
Do you know what? My tricks are working and right now I enjoy some reasonable peace in the house and I am happy to share this tips with you.
Take the Lead – Work on
Yourself
I noticed that when you yell and curse your kids at every provocation, you are training them on how to curse and yell at each other. They will use that same voice and manner you handle issues to treat one another. This is a practical fact because as I always say, parents are role models. Your children copy everything you do as they believe that after all “you know it all”.
If you need a peaceful home start working on your emotions, start changing your style of training. Do more counseling than yelling and cursing. I know it is hard to ignore their troubles but you need to do that because you are in a process of molding characters.
Instead of yelling or cursing that child, remain calm, when you are sure you have calmed down, call the child and let him know you are disappointed in his character. Mark my words you are helping them to build a better relationship where issues are solved with dialogue.
Don’t Take Sides
As a mediator, you are not supposed to be on anybody’s side. Be on the neutral side and judge the matter the way you see it without minding whose horse is gored. I laugh at a parent who takes side with a child because you have a soft spot for such a child. Do you know what you have done? You have succeeded in dividing your family, you have planted the seed of hatred among your children and do you know who will suffer the consequence? Of course YOU.
Make it
abundantly clear to your children that you love them equally and show it to
them by all your judgments.
Create Room for Genuine Apologies and or
Replacement
Genuine apology
is the one that comes out of a repentant heart. Forcing a child to render an apology when he
is annoyed and not convinced that he is guilty will not solve any problem. I am saying that you need to allow the
offender realize his fault first and then render a genuine apology to his sibling.
In the case of
older children, if the cause of the quarrel happens to be a malicious damage to
a sibling’s property and the owner insists on having a replacement, make the
offender work to replace such property. You can help him by offering him a job
in the house such as cutting of the lawns, laundry or any other job you would
have paid somebody to do for you. Pay
him for the job so that he will use the money to replace what he has
damaged.
On the other
hand, the offender could pay with his school allowance to feel the pain. The bottom line is to make the offender be
responsible for his actions.
Support Your Strategies with Prayers
Do you believe
in the efficacy of prayers? Then you
have the choice of having the type of children you want to have. People will always say everything must not be
linked to religion but in this case, prayer works. Tell it to God in prayers the type of home
you want to establish, the type of children you want to have, believe me you
will be surprised how things will turn around for good. Even the hottest head in the house will be the
one who mediates and settle fights.
All these strategies
are producing amazing results and the kids are now bond together and have formed
a formidable squad that even I cannot break.
Even though they play games with my phone, use my laptop to do
assignments and no one reports anymore, I am happy with the result so far.